The finest of margins is what defines an elite forward, that and having the wherewithal to thrive in them.

What sets these Ballon d’Or-nominated frontmen apart, and keeps them at the very zenith of their craft, is the ability to bury a ball hard and true into the far corner of a net, instead of striking the post. A capacity to anticipate the flight and velocity of a cross a split-second before your opponent does. An almost supernatural mental acuity that allows them to slow down the thought process amidst frenetic chaos, and subsequently make an informed, clinical decision.

Sure, physical strength, pace, and clever movement are other crucial requirements, but they can be worked on in training. Then there is the possession of rare natural talent. That’s largely the result of plain dumb luck.

Erling Haaland has scored every 91.9 minutes for club and country since turning professional in 2017 and so many of his multitude of goals have derived from utilising a razor-sharp brain, and a heightened sense of alertness mere mortals experience only sporadically.

That in itself is a priceless trait that continually needs to be focused on. Honed and maintained.

Which the Norwegian diligently does, but not on the training field. There are no drills for this maintenance, as coaches watch on.

Rather, it is done while wearing Dolce & Gabbana leopard-print pyjamas in the comfort and privacy of his home.   

A Strict Protocol: Monitoring and Environment

"I think sleep is the most important thing in the world.”

So said the 25-year-old when appearing on Logan Paul’s podcast in 2023, going on to detail a list of protocols he adheres to each evening to ensure he get the maximum benefits from necessary downtime.

Firstly, nine hours of sleep is ideally attained, never less, never more. This is achieved in a room temperature-controlled to between 60°F and 67°F (15.6°C–19.4°C).

Prior to that, in the three hours leading up to Haaland placing his flowing blonde locks on what is presumably a very expensive pillow, the player wears blue blocking glasses. This is to, in the player’s words, ‘shut out all the signals in the bedroom’ to which he is referring to the artificial blue light that emanates from digital screens.

Around this period too, as he winds down from a day of training or playing, the forward will typically have an extended sauna, Haaland making sure to have one installed at his home.

With an Oura ring then placed on his finger, to track sleep efficiency and check for any oncoming sniffles, he then finally tapes his mouth shut to promote nasal breathing.

“Doing a lot of things is not good but doing small things every single day for a longer period really pays off," the prolific hitman said on revealing his bedroom rituals.

Given that many of us settle for brushing our teeth, and maybe cracking open a window, before hitting the hay it can in fact be viewed as quite a lot.

Embracing the Science: Benefits of Quality Recovery

Such a lot that it’s probably best to tackle them in order when highlighting the scientific reasons behind each action.

Regarding the duration of Haaland’s sleep, extensive research has concluded that nine hours of slumber improves concentration, productivity, and decision-making far better than an hour less or more.

It allows for optimal physical repair, cognitive function, and emotional regulation with some studies suggesting this is particularly true of those who deal with highly stressful situations in their work life.

This certainly applies to Haaland.

As for the sleeping in a cooler environment, this cultivates all manner of positive outcomes, from falling asleep quicker (due to aligning better with a body's natural circadian rhythm) to increasing melatonin production. A ‘cold’ room also promotes stable REM and minimises micro-awakenings during the night.

Data box - Adults generally need about 90 to 120 minutes of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep per night to aid memory, learning and mood regulation.

There is data too that supports the wearing of blue block glasses, with blue-light wavelengths commonly radiating from computer and phone screens.

This can be stimulating in the daytime, but harmful when seeking rejuvenating rest as explained by Dr. Steven Lockley, a neuroscientist at a Harvard-affiliated hospital. “Special photoreceptors in the eye detect light to control our circadian rhythms.”

With these photoceptors being particularly sensitive to the blue-green end of the light spectrum our 24-hour circadian clock is therefore disrupted.

Having a sauna meanwhile, when transitioning to a bedtime routine can be an invaluable resource to aid a good night’s sleep.

Indeed, some reports indicate that spending 20 minutes or more in a sauna or steam room can improve deep, slow-wave sleep by up to 70%, partly by stimulating the pineal gland that produces melatonin, as well as lowering stress-related cortisol.

The science behind night-time saunas is strong.

This is much less the case when it comes to taping your mouth closed, a habit that is steadily growing in popularity due to the misconception that it improves oxygen saturation and thereby leads to a better quality of sleep.

Though doing so unquestionably helps with snoring, and additionally reduces dry mouth and the risk of gum disease, there is presently no research to support the notion that nasal breathing improves oxygenation.

Are you going to tell Erling, or shall we? Or perhaps we should leave it because everything that he’s doing right now is certainly working for him.

Helping him optimise his sleep, which in turn optimises his play.