"Yes, I am a powerful woman"

Original article from France Football, published in 2019.

As soon as she crosses the threshold, she lets out a thunderous "Bonjour la France!" in French. In a second, the American brings life to the Saint Helen lounge of the Westin Hotel, located in the heart of Seattle. She came alone, without an agent, press attaché, or makeup artist—a rarity for a star of this magnitude. "I'm a big girl. Men, on the other hand, always need someone because they are children." The tone is set. For two hours, she plays the game of the interview and photo session with relaxation and professionalism, always with the precise word and a sharp eye. A little more patience and she will fly off for a week's vacation in Mexico with her partner Sue Bird, a four-time Olympic basketball champion. "Finally! Since the World Cup, I haven't stopped..."

"In 2019, every time you came to France, you left with a trophy!

I love France... During the World Cup, I was carried by a fantastic wave of popular support all the way to the final victory. Now, the Ballon d'Or. I should come to your country more often.

Plus, you finished well ahead in the voting.

I had to reach a somewhat advanced age (Editor's note: 34) to receive such an individual award... I had never been highlighted in this way before. This summer at the World Cup, I was accompanied by formidable women who put me in a position to fulfill my role: to be a good attacker and score goals. I don't want to deflect the attention away from me because I am aware I produced a very special performance, but the entire Team USA was truly spectacular.

"I dedicate this trophy to all those who feel left out, different, and to those who are struggling."

With you in the role of top scorer and best player of the tournament.

I am living my best years as a footballer. After the 2016 Olympics, I decided to refocus on my career, to be more committed to my craft, my training, and my diet. After a decade with the national team, I wanted to show I was better than I had ever been. With the hope of shining at the 2019 World Cup.

Mission accomplished, then...

My game has gained depth. I feel so much better physically. During matches, I have flashes where I see exactly what I need to do to be decisive. I should have undertaken this questioning much sooner. I would have been stronger, and France Football would have been forced to create the women's Ballon d'Or earlier! It must be said that I've felt more fulfilled off the pitch for the last three or four years.

In what way?

I know who I am better, and it shows in my game. I feel bolder, capable of occupying the space that belongs to me. Intense atmospheres transcend me. This summer in France, I was able to express myself in front of crowds of 45,000 people and more—I was spoiled! I consider myself more of a "performer," an artist in the process of creating, rather than just an athlete.

A pop star?

We are in the entertainment business, the business of self-expression. There is the sacred part of the game itself, but sport also has this dimension of giving pleasure to millions of people. Our U.S. team is a perfect illustration of this. Our bond off the pitch allows us to overturn everything once the match starts. We love being the center of media attention and spectator passion; it leads us to victory and makes us rock stars. And it feels good!

Does this Ballon d'Or go as much to the best player of the World Cup as to the woman who fights against discrimination and takes on Donald Trump?

To both, I think... I see myself as an activist, so that part of my personality cannot be set aside. On one hand, I am a very good football player. On the other, my actions off the pitch draw support because people understand I am acting to bring them with me to find solutions to our society's problems. The effects are already being felt. Look at what’s happening in Australia (the Federation decreed equal pay and treatment for men's and women's internationals). The idea is to give others the strength to speak up loud and clear. That’s why I have a lot of respect for Ada (Hegerberg, 2018 Ballon d'Or winner), who stood up to her Federation to demand better treatment for the women's national team.

"Infantino wouldn't be talking about homophobia if I weren't here."

The women's Ballon d'Or jury seems to have a soft spot for troublemakers...

I gladly accept that label. Let’s keep using our status to move things forward.

How do you combine the life of a high-level athlete with that of an activist present on various fronts?

My schedule is just hellish: the travel, the speaking engagements, the reflection, etc. But that fueled my motivation and that of my teammates. For sure, our fight for equal pay against our Federation transcended us during the World Cup. That certainty in our struggle made us sharper on the pitch. Before the tournament, we told ourselves we absolutely had to win it!

To silence those, including Donald Trump, who were annoyed by your stances?

There was this urgency within us. In the U.S., we are obsessed with the obligation to be the best, to dominate the world. It’s sometimes excessive, even scary. But in our case, victory was going to allow women's football—not just American—to take a giant step forward. The world title took our fight for equality into another dimension. That’s why I don’t just dedicate my Ballon d'Or to my teammates, coaches, family, friends, and Sue, my partner...

To whom else?

To all those who feel left out, different, to those who struggle. Perhaps this American team, and I myself, are opening a new path for them that will allow them to shatter the status quo and create a better world for everyone. I am the symbol of a person who doesn't limit themselves to what they are given. I never stop digging deep to try to understand what I’m truly worth and to never accept less than I deserve.

"I challenge Cristiano, Leo, and Zlatan to speak up. Help us!"

Who are you addressing?

Everyone, without distinction: the young Black man victim of racism, the young girl footballer starting out and being mocked, the gay athlete, the female employee who deserves the same salary as her male colleague, etc. These people are connected by a thread; they want to live their lives as they wish. The world is changing around us; people are protesting everywhere: Hong Kong, Chile, Lebanon, Algeria, the "yellow vests" in France... For years, I’ve traveled with my national team, we win matches, we put on a show, but we stay connected to people’s expectations. I also listen to those who come to me.

What do they tell you?

In 2015, after our World Cup victory, people celebrated us saying: "Bravo, you’re great, your sport is awesome!" It was from the outside. This year, people took ownership of the team as if they were part of it; the final victory was theirs too—in the U.S., but also elsewhere in the world. It wasn't just about football or patriotism anymore. This team was fighting for every form of equality. So, people thank me for inspiring them, for giving them that little extra bit of strength that will allow them to achieve in their lives what we achieved on the pitch. Those words deeply moved me.

Do you feel the weight of responsibility?

Not at all... I’m lucky to have a certain talent, maybe a vocation, for leading struggles. I am naturally a confident person; I’m not afraid of microphones, so I say what needs to be said. In that sense, yes, I am a powerful woman. These testimonials mostly give me energy. Of course, I’m exhausted from traveling for conferences and meetings, but I’m not going to complain. If things are to improve in our world, I might as well be on the front line.

Where does this strength come from?

From a very young age, I perceived the power of the collective to move forward in life. Since I was twenty, I’ve grown up in this U.S. team (160 caps), surrounded by twenty or so powerful and self-assured women who have won everything—World Cups and Olympic Games. They instilled that strength in me. It’s an exceptional melting pot that doesn't resemble real life; it has become my natural environment.

And what are the effects of this power?

The President of the United States tweets about me. I must certainly be bothering him... Gianni Infantino (FIFA President) wouldn't be talking about homophobia and racism if I weren't in the picture. For a long time, he didn't address these subjects. Now, he knows I’m here, along with others, and that we won’t stop challenging him. Making noise forces people in power to act. Furthermore, by hearing us, anonymous people all over the world tell themselves they are legitimate in demanding equal pay, in fighting racism or sexism, etc. The Ballon d'Or will allow me to address players even more directly.

Don't you want to shout: "Please, Cristiano (Ronaldo), Leo (Messi), Zlatan (Ibrahimovic), help me?"

Oh, absolutely... These big stars don't commit to anything! (Raheem) Sterling and (Kalidou) Koulibaly, at least, have spoken up because they suffered racist attacks, but who else? I strive to challenge these big names to speak out, even if I come across as a pain in the neck, but I don't care.

Do you feel alone?

Totally! There are so many problems in men's football and they don't budge an inch. Is it because there is so much money at stake? Are they terrified of losing everything? They believe so, but it's not true. Who is going to erase Ronaldo or Messi from the football planet for a statement against racism or sexism? On the contrary, they would receive massive support.

In the film industry, following the Weinstein scandal, people finally spoke out about sexual abuse. Can the football world take inspiration from that?

The Weinstein case led to #MeToo, which is linked to Time’s Up, which is connected to Black Lives Matter. Sexism, racism, homophobia—it’s all linked! A handful of people can lead a global movement. The first actresses who denounced (Harvey) Weinstein showed unimaginable courage because he was all-powerful in world cinema. There was one, then two, then five... finally, hundreds of women spoke. The Weinstein case can serve as an example in the fight for equal pay, against racism, and homophobia in sport and elsewhere. The snowball effect is possible.

So why the silence among football's megastars?

They were children with exceptional talent who grew up in a bubble. Nothing was supposed to disrupt their progress. They quickly earned fortunes and played in the most beautiful stadiums. They were cut off from the real world, and by twenty, they already had everything. I have endured sexism; I have been a victim of homophobia; they have only experienced adulation. It’s a matter of ego that they must overcome. Conversely, due to a more advanced education and broader empathy, female athletes have always expressed a desire to address the tough subjects. A young female athlete has a more developed social conscience; she only needs to look at her paycheck at the end of the month.

Yet, the likes of Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ibrahimovic, and Neymar come from very modest backgrounds.

Which is why I don't understand their silence! I am both angry and sad. I imagine they say to themselves: "I made it out, I don't want to put my life in danger." Good grief, in danger of what? They have female friends, sisters, Black or gay buddies—they must know that plenty of people suffer from discrimination. As long as they aren't as outraged as Sterling and Koulibaly by monkey chants, nothing will change! and they will be part of the problem.

What would you say to them if you were face to face?

I would describe to them what discriminated people go through. Then I would say that we are going to need men, even if they aren't the ones primarily affected. They must be our allies, even if it's a bit uncomfortable for them! I would want to push them to do more. Wake up, gentlemen! Be less selfish! We aren't asking you to go on a crusade, but send a tweet or make an Instagram post! Given your millions of followers, it would be useful... Imagine the impact if Cristiano Ronaldo said: "We need to invest more in women's football."

And if Lionel Messi walked off the pitch at the first monkey chant directed at...

It would be huge! The referee wouldn't dare give him a red card—him, the greatest footballer of all time. I'm fed up with the empty gestures when a player suffers a racist chant. The other players comfort him, and that’s it. Dammit!

How do we convince the football world to open up to the real world?

In the U.S., two major sports opted for opposite attitudes. In the NFL, owners work to silence players and they succeed. Conversely, the NBA commissioner, Adam Silver, strives to empower players; he encourages them to speak out. Result: when LeBron James speaks, people listen! He has an influence on his sport and on people's lives. Footballers must never forget that they hold the power. Their sport relies on their talent and fame. Wanting to turn football into an idyllic world is an illusion. Every week in stadiums, we hear monkey chants and homophobic songs. Letting those words of hate be spoken is never harmless. Every day in our countries, people are beaten or killed because they are Black, gay, or transgender. This isn't a joke anymore!

What do you think of the attitude of the bigwigs at FIFA and UEFA?

It takes those people a century to move ten centimeters. That two of the most powerful organizations in the world indulge in such stagnation on such burning issues is frankly embarrassing! And I put the English, Italian, or French federations in the same boat. A supporter who makes a racist chant should be banned for life!

Who inspired you in your youth?

I would say my mother, Denise. An exceptional woman who had a feminist vision before feminism became a topical subject. I come from a conservative family but, in practice, it was progressive without knowing it. My mother worked nights, my father worked days. Both cooked, did the cleaning and the laundry. It's good to grow up with that principle of equality.

And among athletes?

I'm very inspired by the courage of Colin Kaepernick. I owe him a lot in the construction of the person I am now. The audacity of his gesture left a strong mark on me. I speak up too, I make demands, but I still have a job. He doesn't have one anymore because he is Black. Clearly, we live in a world where white supremacy reigns. More generally, I have a lot of respect for those who use their fame to support the less fortunate. As athletes or artists, we benefit from a fame that is sometimes excessive. We were born with a certain talent—it's a privilege of nature; it’s selfish not to share the rewards.

If you had to name authors who matter to you?

James Baldwin, of course. Also Audre Lorde and Gloria Steinem. These magnificent people fought for our rights for decades.

More than thirty participants in the World Cup were openly gay, but not a single French player. You played in Lyon in 2013; what is your explanation?

My stay of nearly a year in France was a very instructive experience. I arrived thinking I would discover a very open culture. Indeed, French laws are progressive, but living there, I realized that society wasn't really. In the sporting environment where I moved, everyone was careful about how they were perceived. I was labeled the "crazy American." Plus, as I was the only openly gay player, I was immediately categorized as a "gay icon," when I was just... myself. Over there, they had never seen a creature as incredible as me. In that uniform atmosphere, I was shocking.

That much?

I was an alien, just because I expressed my personality and my will to succeed out loud, because I joked with everyone. With hindsight, I think this lack of self-confidence might explain the absence of "coming out" among the French women. They are immersed in a conservative environment where it's not cool to show who they are. Yet, given their immense popularity and world-class status, they aren't at risk of losing their jobs. Above all, being yourself in life allows you to be better in competition. Given their talent, the French women would fly on the pitch. But they are so afraid of losing that they don't allow themselves to win. Relax, girls! The French women perhaps need to unwind or be led by a more uninhibited coach.

You should submit your application...

Oh gosh!

You decided to donate your brain to science. In your opinion, what will they find inside?

Certainly a fair amount of madness!